The Poetry Shed

A Space for Writers
On Brand

CactusMax

To Our Beloved Customers:

This is the CEO of CactusMax, your supplier of exotic, southern-born plants.

During this pandemic, we want you to know that your safety is NUMBER ONE on our company’s checklist. Of course, exotic plants are a significant necessity in this difficult economic time for the country, obviously. We know how tough this is for all of you… and we want to help.

Here at CactusMax, we are committed to you during this inconvenient time. Think of us like your end of the day beer: we are always sitting tight, waiting on you to act on us so you can have a good time. WE ARE HERE FOR YOU.

We are offering a limited time deal on our high-demand products: cacti, Venus fly traps, Angel’s Trumpets, sunflowers, you name it. Buy one, get any other plant for only DOUBLE the price! That’s right!

Our thought process is that you need us in this time of need and desperation. Who else could get our dangerous, exotic, life-threatening plants in your home faster? NOBODY! That’s why we’re in the consumer business.

Because. We. Care.

Remember, this limited time offer only lasts for the next seven-ish minutes, so go order and pay more than you normally would! Believe me, you definitely will NOT be sorry!

Have a wonderful vacation,

Bobby Ohlson, CEO of CactusMax