The Poetry Shed

A Virtual Classroom

Alix’s Quarantine Index

Exact number of days since my first day in quarantine: 57

How many more days I can take: 0

Estimated number of car drives for no reason per week: 13

The amount of those drives that have been for the sunset: 8

Number of drives I’ve been on for birthdays in April: 7

Number of Spotify playlists I have made for my car rides: 5

The new average price of gas per gallon in the United States: 2.62

Average number of times I have been to the grocery store in a week: 2

Number of Betty Crocker cookie packets I have purchased at a time: 6

Average percentage of people that wears a mask to the grocery store: 80

Number of masks that we have purchased: 15

Number of masks that are laying around my house: 5

How many TikTok dances have my sister and I learned since March: 10

Estimated number of TikToks I watch in a day: 500

Number of fights I’ve had with my sister over a TikTok: 4

iPhone usage screen time percentage increase since March: 120

Number of Netflix shows that I have finished since March: 5

Average number of hours in a WebEx classroom each day: 4

Average number of emails I receive from Salve a day: 15

The estimated percentage of times I say, “I wish I was at Salve” in a day: 99.9

Average number of times the news says, “Coronavirus” in an hour: 30

Average number of times I hear someone say, “I hate Corona” in an hour: 20

The obscured amount of times I’ve screamed “Carole Baskin, killed her husband, wacked him”

: 100

Number of times a week my brother showers 3 times a day for no reason: 5

Amount of toilet paper rolls aloud to be purchased per household: 2

Number of toilet paper rolls stored in my hallway: 45

Average number of toilet paper rolls we go through in a day: 3

Average number of times I’ve cried into the toilet paper: 5

Number of times I have said I liked being in quarantine: 0

Number of times I’ve herd someone else say they enjoyed being in quarantine

: 1

Exact number of days till I lose my sanity: 0